![]() In the process, it’s hard for them to internalize feedback because they’re trying to explain away the performance issues brought to their attention. How do you hope the other person reacts? They might jump to justifying their actions to protect their self-image. Imagine you’re giving a performance review and offering constructive criticism. Once you understand what’s on the line for each of you, it’s easier to relate and find common ground.īy recognizing these three layers and shifting the discussion, you can have a more productive, honest conversation. Consider whether the situation threatens both parties’ self-image. It’s understandable that you might get defensive.īut, before the initial conversation, it's important to remember you’re not the only one in it the other person is coming to it with their own identity issues. Perhaps you feel like someone is questioning your expertise or work ethic. Related: The Impact of Emotions in Negotiation How the Incident Intersects with or Threatens Each Person’s IdentityĮveryone has a self-image they’re trying to protect, and that often feels threatened during a difficult conversation. You can then understand where the other person is coming from and reach a resolution. While some may say to remove emotion from the conversation entirely, it’s better to address how both parties feel without judgment. It’s tempting to vent your frustrations or take your feelings out on others. How We Feel About What Happenedĭifficult conversations tend to conjure strong emotions. This creates a safe space for the other person to share how they perceived the situation and its impact on them. Instead, speak from your perspective, acknowledge your role, and describe how the incident affected you. In doing so, you assume their intentions, which you can’t predict. How the incident intersects with or threatens each person’s identityĪmid a hard conversation, it’s tempting to describe your perception of the situation as absolute truth and place blame on the other party.“We can divide any difficult conversation into three layers,” says Harvard Business School Professor Julie Battilana in the online course Power and Influence for Positive Impact. This combination signals that you have good intentions and the skills to act on them, which can help you navigate challenging conversations with your team. One effective way to build trust is by exercising emotional intelligence and projecting warmth and competence. When a tough conversation arises, it will be easier because your colleagues will be less likely to assume negative intent. This will help you gain influence in your organization and develop mutual trust and understanding with your employees. Prioritize Building Trustīuilding trust and cultivating connections are activities you should practice daily. How to Have Difficult Conversations with Employees 1. Whatever the situation, there are tactics you can leverage to navigate difficult conversations with employees effectively and formulate an action plan for how to move forward. Maybe you need to deliver tough client or employee feedback, reset a stakeholder's expectations, or give a poor performance review. Hard conversations are an inevitable part of leadership and management. That avoidance impacts your team.įree E-Book: How to Become a More Effective LeaderĪccess your free e-book today. Fifty-three percent of employees handle "toxic" situations by ignoring them. The longer the conversation festers, the more resentment tends to build, and the harder the discussion becomes once you’ve worked up the courage to start it. Most hope the issue will resolve itself, but that’s rarely the case. A study by coaching and training firm Bravely shows that 70 percent of employees avoid difficult conversations. If you’re avoiding a hard conversation at work, you’re not alone.
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